Let's Chat: Final Year Worries

I had a cute little post scheduled for today, something about a coffee shop we found in the city last week, but I decided to leave that for some other day last minute. The reason? My mind's not really focusing on anything other than the fact that tomorrow marks the first day of my -hopefully- last year of university.

I've been at  university for three years now, as it's a four-year degree, and so far it's all been good. Most of the time I love what we're doing and it's only when we have too many tests to study for and too many papers to work on that I'm truly stressed and willing to drop out and join the circus or something (just kidding... but that would be pretty cool). I work hard, again, most of the time, and so passing all of my subjects and generally being what I guess you could call a successful student has not been that hard - especially last year. Surely there have been some difficult times, but in the end it's always been alright. So why am I so afraid of this new school year?

The answer is very simple: it's my last. I'm not nearly as scared about this year as I am about what's going to come next. I have always known I wanted to go to university, even before I even knew what university really was or what I wanted to study, but I have never been certain of anything beyond that. This is as far as my life plan goes. It's not that I don't have dreams or goals - I definitely do. There are many things that I want to do, and they are all so different that I'm just really scared of having to choose. Of choosing the wrong thing. Of chasing two rabbits and catching neither. Of what comes next.

On a lighter note, I'm really excited to go back this year. I want to see everyone and see what my new classes are all about and all that, so I'm pretty sure once tomorrow comes and things go back to normal I'll feel a lot better about it. For now, though, I just wanted to be honest, both with you reading this and, most importantly, with myself. I'm scared and that's okay. Now let's beat this year's ass. ;)

Tania x

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